How Many Council Work Personel Does It Take To…

Far be it for me to cast dispersions about Milton Keynes Council and their ability to waste both time and money in fruitless exercises.  Not to mention how they seem to employ only people who have how can I say less than a basic city and guilds in customer communications?

We live in a council flat, in I think what is fair to be said the rough end of town, our neighbour seems to sell lots of small brown envelopes for what seems to be considerably more than what the post office get for them!  However he does us no injustice and the people that buy them are all old enough to know the price of a small brown envelope, even if they are unsure what day it actually is.

However the council seem to treat us as second class citizens, someimes we feel like we are interupting their 8 hour lunch break with tedious things such as graffiti, we are here because of various factors however we both have now extremely good jobs, we are clean, tidy, and sober, we claim no benefits, our flat is tidy, freshly decorated, and we pay our rent before the due date, we pay council tax, and by the reaction I got when I did buy a TV license (see post about Italian TV) we are the only ones round who have one!!!  So why is it when we phone the council they see fit to treat us with what has to be said utter contempt.

Our housing officer is a prime example, she is brass, crude, and her position in the council in no way reflect her ability to get the job done, infact I am certain that when they had the interviews she must have been in the wrong place and no one else turned up, so before she knew it she was a housing officer.  But this aside it has to be said that after being passed to what is a seemingly endless array of departments we do eventually get the job done.

The end of our guttering down-pipe fell off or was kicked or stolen when our flat was empty and before my partner had taken possession of the flat.  This was noted on the initial form which was signed when she took the flat on,  That was an impressive 14 months ago.  Here is the saga so far…

My partner took on the flat with the down-pipe fault noted on the initial paperwork, with many assurances that this work would be completed within two weeks.  Two weeks elapsed and nothing had happened, except the flat had become damp as a resultant of the water gushing down the wall, which in turn, turned green on the outside.  My partner phoned up yet again and was assured this was being given top priority.  Another 12 months elapsed with many more assurances, at this point we thought that enough was enough and something had to be done, almost daily e-mails started, we noted to them with pictures what needed to be done, I am fairly good at repairs as I am a fairly practical sort and could see that this job should take about 6 minutes assuming there is a cup of tea involved. 

We finally get an e-mail stating that the scaffolder would be with us in the next few days, now bear in mind we are talking about the bottom section of down-pipe that goes into the drainage located at the bottom of the wall near our patio, why on earth do they need scaffold?  We sent them an e-mail again with pictures stating that the uppermost part where it had broken was literally 3ft(1m) from Terra Firma, we received a reply stating that this job had been checked by a professional who deemed it would be working at height and as such would require a scaffold to be built.  The scaffolder turned up with what has to be said a rather impressive array of scaffold, he took a quick look finished his tea and left, we then get a phone call from the contractor asking why we had not had the scaffold put up and that the job could not continue without it as it would not be considered safe to do so.  Well either something has gone wrong here or they employ 2ft um-per lumpas!    After much debarkle now involving us, the contractor, the council and the scaffolder, we persuade the contractor to send out someone to re-examine the job, also could he bring a bit of down-pipe, and a hacksaw on the off chance we might be right. Great next morning we are about to leave or work when what I can only describe as a 5ft umper lumpa turns up with a lump of downpipe, he has a quick look a cup of tea, and then realises he forgot his hacksaw which is in the van! Well hey presto 10 minutes later we have a new down-pipe fitted without any scaffolding and he was able to contain the vertigo when he had to stand upright to fit it, it should be noted that special council approved training is required for council employees to stand upright on two legs, our housing officer is testament to that, one day she will have that certificate. 

The upshot is, well we did get the job done, well almost, the umper lumpa forgot his clips and drill and screws so the next downpour the pipe fell off.  But we are almost there, umper lumpa is coming back to put the clips on and we are assured that once the scaffolding is in place this will be complete :-S  The moral of the story here is just private rent or buy, you will save in the long run I promise you, and thats just on Anadin